Are You Sabotaging Your Team With Kindness?
Do your good intentions and kindness as a leader sometimes backfire? In this episode, Andrea and Michelle explore how common leadership approaches can unintentionally demotivate and frustrate teams. They discuss the importance of understanding individual needs, avoiding assumptions, and creating a psychologically safe environment for open communication.
Takeaways
Good intentions can lead to unintended consequences in leadership.
Regular feedback and 360 evaluations can illuminate areas for improvement.
Psychological safety allows for open communication and honest feedback.
Leaders should avoid making assumptions about their team's needs.
Balancing independence and guidance is essential for team success.
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Are Your Good Intentions Sabotaging Your Leadership?
When Leadership Intentions Backfire: The Hidden Cost of Kindness
You're a dedicated leader with the best leadership intentions, committed to your team's success. You've honed your management skills, given your team autonomy, and pride yourself on your hands-off approach. Yet, despite your best efforts, there's an undercurrent of frustration, a dip in motivation, and a sense that something's... off. If this scenario hits close to home, you're not alone. On The Leadership Hustle podcast, Andrea Fredrickson and Michelle Hill explore a common leadership pitfall: when trying to help actually hurts.
The Double-Edged Sword of Well-Intentioned Leadership
Most leaders have the best intentions for their teams. They want to empower, support, and guide their employees towards success.
But here's the kicker: sometimes, these very intentions can inadvertently sabotage team performance and morale.
Take, for instance, the leader who believes in giving their team complete autonomy. They've trained their staff thoroughly and now step back, touching base only occasionally. On paper, it sounds ideal.
In reality? It can lead to a team feeling abandoned and unsupported.
As Andrea points out, "The feedback that we gathered for her, there was one very specific thing in that she's never available when we need her." The leader's response? "They never told me that."
This disconnect between intention and impact is at the heart of many leadership challenges.
The One-Size-Fits-All Trap
One of the most common pitfalls leaders fall into is managing everyone the same way they prefer to be managed. Michelle Hill explains, "Whatever my needs are, I assume are your needs."
This approach, while well-intentioned, fails to recognize the diverse needs and working styles within a team. Some team members thrive on independence, while others need more guidance and frequent check-ins.
The key is to recognize and adapt to these individual differences.
The Danger of Overthinking
Another trap is the leader who, in their desire to ensure everything runs smoothly, becomes overly involved in every aspect of their team's work. While this might come from a place of caring, it can stifle creativity, hinder learning, and even lead to micromanagement.
As Andrea cautions, "If I just spoon feed you every single thing that you do, there's no challenge." This approach not only wastes the leader's energy but also deprives team members of growth opportunities.
Signs Your Good Intentions Might Be Backfiring
How can you tell if your leadership style, despite your best intentions, might be causing more harm than good?
Here are some red flags to watch out for:
Making excuses for team members consistently
Blaming other departments or external factors for team shortcomings
Hearing phrases like "you don't understand" or "yeah, but..." frequently
Noticing a lack of initiative from your team
Feeling overwhelmed because you're involved in every decision
If these signs resonate with you, it might be time to reassess your approach.
Bridging the Gap: From Intention to Impact
So, how can leaders ensure their good intentions translate into positive impacts?
Here are some strategies:
1. Develop Self-Awareness and Other-Awareness
Understanding your own preferences and needs is crucial, but equally important is recognizing that these may differ from your team members'.
As Michelle suggests, "The better we can become aware of ourselves and our preferences versus someone else's, it really helps us understand how we can adjust."
2. Conduct 360-Degree Feedback
Anonymous feedback from peers, direct reports, and superiors can provide invaluable insights into how your leadership style is perceived.
It helps "connect the dots to the impact," as Michelle puts it, showing how your actions affect those around you.
3. Ask Direct Questions
During one-on-ones, don't shy away from asking pointed questions like:
"What do you need from me that I'm not giving you?”
"What would you like me to do differently to help you do your job better?"
"Is there something preventing you from [specific goal or task]?"
These questions can uncover valuable insights and foster psychological safety within your team.
4. Adapt Your Style
Once you understand the diverse needs of your team, be willing to adjust your approach.
As Andrea notes, "We attribute things like, oh, I know this person or I like this person. So they must do it the way, whatever it is that I'm doing it."
Challenge this assumption and be flexible in your management style.
The Leadership Paradox: Caring Less to Lead Better?
It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes being a better leader means stepping back and allowing your team to struggle a bit. As Andrea points out, "If people don't struggle a little bit, it's harder for them to learn."
This doesn't mean abandoning your team or stopping care. Instead, it's about finding the right balance between support and challenge, between guidance and autonomy.
Remember, true leadership isn't about your intentions, it's about the impact you have on your team and organization. By staying aware, adaptable, and open to feedback, you can ensure your good intentions translate into great results.
Elevate Your Leadership Impact Today
Ready to align your leadership intentions with meaningful impact? Revela's tailored coaching programs can help you navigate these complex dynamics and unlock your team's full potential.
Don't let your good intentions inadvertently hold your team back. Contact Revela today and take the first step towards transformative leadership that truly makes a difference.
The Leadership Hustle podcast is produced by Two Brothers Creative.
About the Hosts
Andrea Fredrickson
Andrea Fredrickson is a thought leader and consultant at Revela, an organization based in Omaha, Nebraska specializing in the development of leaders, culture alignment, and business strategy for private and family businesses of all sizes. Revela is one of the region's most experienced thought challengers, helping individuals and companies find their greatness. Andrea has built an amazing team by believing that fundamentally people want to be successful and become better versions of themselves.
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Andrea has degrees in education, management, and business. She is the author of Insight Unseen; How to lead with 20/20 business vision. She helps people see things differently, self-reflect, and never stop looking for ways to improve themselves on a personal and professional level. Andrea has spent more than 30 years researching and developing methods to help people communicate and lead more effectively.
When Andrea isn’t working with clients, you’ll find her spending time with her family & friends and making memories by exploring new cities.
Michelle Hill
Michelle Hill is a master facilitator and coach at Revela, an organization specializing in the development of leaders and aligning the culture of privately held and family businesses of all sizes. Revela is one of the region's most experienced thought challengers, helping individuals and companies find their greatness.
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An ambitious leader, Michelle has the natural ability to create forward momentum to build teams and get results. She inspires others to look within themselves and to challenge the status quo. She helps create high-performing environments. Michelle brings a diverse background: operations, employee development, and sales in the steel, hospitality, and consulting industries.
Outside of work, you will see her competitive side engaged in her daughter’s sports and ISU athletics. She loves life, her four-legged companions, and captures all the moments through her camera’s lens.
TRANSCRIPT
Andrea Fredrickson: On this episode of The Leadership Hustle, we're going to discuss the good intentions that you have might be backfiring. Hello, and welcome to the Leadership Hustle for executives whose companies are growing fast and need leaders who are ready. Hi there, and welcome back to the Leadership Hustle. I'm Andrea Frederickson, joined with Michelle Hill, and we're here to talk a little bit about how we as leaders have really good intentions. But sometimes they backfire and we don't even know they're backfiring.